I Thought It Was For The Best
by Knid06
Summary: Swanqueen One-shot. Regina makes a choice thinking it was for the best for everyone.


This is my first one-shot! Enjoy!

\--

The first ten minutes after she opened her eyes, there was nothing other than complete panic, she lay completely still, thinking of a way to get out of this mess, the night before was etched into her mind, no matter how much alcohol she had consumed she remembered every single moment.

She remembers the tears, the anger, she remembered Snow making a fool of herself after only one or two drinks, the group of Viking like men shouting and lifting Snow up in the air completely amazed with her throwing skills, she remembers having to call David to collect her from the rabbit hole as she fell asleep at the bar, not one person wanting to touch or move the sleeping Queen.

She remembers the distant look in those green eyes she had become to admire so long ago, the numerous whiskey shots they both consumed as they got steadily more and more drunk. She remembered how they both slowly, during the course of the night, ended up sitting shoulder to shoulder in one of the booths towards the back of the room.

She remembers when she felt blonde hair tickling her neck as she rested her head on her shoulder, seemingly sad and broken over the abandonment of her supposedly true love. She remembers placing her arms over her shoulder and pulling her close to comfort her, telling her that he isn't worth her tears, that she deserves so much more. She remembers telling her that she would never abandon her, that she will always be there for her like she has been for her, and that she promised her she will help her find her happy ended.

She remembered how she laughed after telling her, that is was her that promised her happy ending not the other way around as she placed her hand on her thigh, squeezing for some form of comfort or reassurance, she didn't quite know, but she looked at her and smiled saying that maybe they could just help each other.

She remembers how they drank some more and the hand that was placed on her thigh previously hadn't moved from its place, either she hadn't realised it was still there or she was comfortable enough not to make it an issue. She remembers watching Emma stand up to go to the bathroom stumbling slightly and her laughing at herself doing so. She remembered how she tried to ignore the faint burning sensation left behind after her hand was removed.

She remembered once Emma had returned, she also returned to the same position, shoulder to shoulder and hand resting so naturally on her thigh. She remembered placing her hand on top of hers entwining their fingers with one another's. Not feeling any awkwardness in doing so.

She remembers looking into each other eyes and suddenly the room becoming quiet, distant, forgotten, the look in those green eyes, still so distant but so close at the same time, she remembers the way they looked at each other for a while before either one spoke, asking 'what is this' in a low whisper, in return the other barely shaking her head but never once looking away.

She remembers how they both leaned in slowly, never taking their eyes from one another until their lips touched ever so softly, she remembered the taste of her lips, the way it made it heart soar in the most painful and euphoric way imaginable, she remembered hearing the slight gasp then moans come from each of their mouths and she knew in that moment they were both sharing the same thoughts and feelings.

She remembers how when they pulled apart, there was no fear, there was no panic, there was a connection between them that was undeniable, yet feeling a little overwhelmed to even voice it.

'make me forget Regina, make me feel' she remembered her saying, she remembered shaking her head slowly looking down at their joined hands knowing she had wanting this for far longer than she cares to admit, knowing her heart had belonged to the savior, her savior for so long already. She looked away for a moment until she felt fingers lift her chin slowly, she saw how her eyes glossed over, then the most simplest word with the most meaning behind them escaped from the blondes mouth 'please' and that's all it took for her to take a deep breath and flick her wrist to engulf them in a cloud of purple smoke.

But still, here she is panicking, no matter what was exchanged the previous night, she felt although she took advantage, Emma was hurting, she was grieving her lost love, she was abandoned, she needed to forget, which ever way she looked at this, they both used each other. Emma to forget and herself for reasons she knew deep in heart she wanted, but it was unfair on Emma, Emma, did not know how she felt. Emma would wake up and regret it the moment she remembered. She was certain.

She couldn't let that happen, she couldn't let the past few years of progress, of how far they have come to be thrown out of the window, she knew she would lose Emma and she wasn't prepared to do that, she would rather live in her own sorrow than to lose Emma completely, so she did the only thing that she thought was right, she did the only thing she knew would be best for the both of them.

\--

She stood in front of Killian, in front of all her family and friends, she was happy, she was finally getting her happy ending, her mother and father looked so proud and her heart was so full. She looked towards the crowd, there was her son, Henry, he had the story book in his hand, the story book that started it all, she saw her hand cover his and looked towards their son, she looked at Regina looking at Henry, suddenly her heart skipped, she was unsure as to why, she thought maybe it was the way Regina was looking at Henry with so much love, she was so happy that they had worked out their relationship, she knew how much they loved each other and her heart again was so full at the thought of it.

Regina looked up, their eyes locked for a moment, but she felt her breath hitch. Those eyes, she was looking at her with so much intensity that she couldn't look away, it felt so foreign yet so familiar, but why was it familiar. She closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself, yet all she saw was the way Regina was looking at her, not from across the room but mere inches away.

'love' she heard Killian say, snapping her out of her daze. He looked worried for moment until she smiled towards him apologizing for zoning out which made the room laugh, she chanced another look towards Regina but she was not laughing, she was now looking at her hand that was playing with her a button on her blouse, she looked so sad, so lost, so... not herself. She started playing back the past few weeks, something had changed in Regina, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was, she thought it may have been to do with the loss of Robin and how there was so much happiness surrounding everyone that it may have been affecting her. Emma felt guilty but, Snow had assured her that Regina was alright and that she was happy for Emma, she chose to move on and believe what snow was explaining, she knew she had to focus on Killian and their wedding

Archie began, then everything else faded away into the background, including her thoughts on Regina.

\--

A few months had passed since Emma and Killian's wedding and she had been avoiding her like the plague, she hadn't felt heartache like it before, she wasn't young and naive anymore so she knew she wouldn't curse an entire town again, although she did have vivid thoughts of fire balling Killian out of Storybrook, but she knew no matter how much she had hated Killian, she wanted Emma to be happy and if it was him to make her happy, she wouldn't step in her way. She knew what she had done all those months ago was the right thing to do.

She dealt with with it the only way she knew how, she isolated herself away from everyone, only seeing Henry on the rare occasions. She knew that people were worried about her, and when they asked her, she just brushed it off and told them she was just busy and stressed with work.

When she unfortunately, had no other choice than to see Emma, she would put on a brave face, with her practiced smile and her regal manner, and if Emma ever thought she was putting this act on, she never let Regina know. No Emma was happy, and when you're that happy, you don't see what is around you.

\--

"what's wrong" Regina looked up from her desk as the door suddenly swung open and a mess of blonde hair bounced into her office

"hello to you too" she looked back down towards her work and continued, her work that now consisted of a way to escape Storybrook and to escape the ever lasting pain in her heart from seeing Emma. She could hardly look at Emma without her heart aching, she knew she was being short with her, but she couldn't bring herself to act normal around her anymore. She needed space and distant and the only way to do that is to revert to her old stuck up way.

"Regina, what the hell's wrong with you" she took commanding steps towards her raising her voice "seriously I don't understand what's happened with you. At first, I thought it was to do with Robin, then, I thought you were upset that I was getting my happiness, but my mom assured me that you were ok"

Regina took a sharp breath, she couldn't break now, she couldn't "don't you dare mention Robins name to me, and of course your idiot of a mother would say that"

"Regina" she all but whispered, she stepped forward again making Regina's body tense, Emma looked at the papers on her desk, putting the pieces together "you're leaving?"

"leave me alone Swan"

"no"

"leave, now"

Emma walked around the desk and stood for a second before she crouched down next to her, Regina closed her eyes taking a steady breath to calm to her heart that was currently attempting to break through her chest

"Why are you leaving" she could see Emma shaking beside her "please" and oh did that remind Regina of that simple request over a year ago, she felt her eyes gloss over as she fought for them not to fall and show Emma how vulnerable she was in this moment.

"I don't need your god damn pity Swan, leave me alone, I don't want you here" each word was breaking her heart all over again

"what have I done wrong" again she all but pleaded to her, that was enough for a silent tear to fall down her cheek, she felt Emma's hand rest on her thigh instantly causing a reaction through her veins that she was sure would have been strong enough for Emma to feel also, she heard Emma gasp sharply but panic arose and she quickly stood up making the chair fly backwards into the wall

"get the hell out of my office, I do not want anything from you, don't touch me, don't come near me, don't speak to. Go back to your fucking husband, I've had enough of you and this god damn town, I hate you. I'm leaving because I hate you" she screamed the last part looking at Emma through her blurred vision, if she could turn back time and tell herself not to look at Emma in that moment, she would have done just that.

The second she cleared her vision and looked at Emma fully, her heart shattered, she knew her words had hurt her, she knew she was in the wrong, but she needed to somehow get away from her, this had been the hardest year of her life, to see her with Killian walking around town, holding hands, kissing, it was all too much. Emma had tears streaming down her face, she looked as broken as Regina had felt.

Regina quickly turned away from her looking out of the window, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to find some comfort from somewhere, she heard Emma stand up but, then it was quiet, she knew she was still stood there not moving. She knew she didn't need to look at her to see the tears in her eyes.

She felt Emma's hand on her shoulder, this time she didn't push her off, she felt her fingers squeeze her shoulder "Regina, please, tell me what I have done. I can't live with myself knowing you hate me. I need to fix this"

"it is not you that has done anything" Regina whispered under her breath, she was sure Emma hadn't heard her

"what did you do"

"nothing" she brushed it off, he heart was still fighting to break free.

"nothing, right" Regina felt Emma pull at her shoulder until they were stood facing each other, she didn't look at Emma, she kept her head down, daring not to look at her. She was not expecting Emma to wrap her arms around her and pull her into her body. At first, she froze, she still had her arms wrapped around herself as Emma pulled her in more. "Regina, I miss you. Please come back to us"

She broke, every ounce of emotion she had kept bottled up for over a year suddenly overflowed, her body shook, if Emma were not holding her, she would have fallen to the floor, sensing this Emma held her tight not letting go. The sobs were uncontrollable, her breathing was erratic, she buried her head in Emma neck instantly smelling her shampoo which broke her even more. She kept saying ''I'm sorry" repeatedly, Emma kept whispering comfort to her, holding her, rubbing her back, it was when Emma placed her head in Regina's neck that Regina started to calm down.

Emma on her part was completely and utterly confused, she came here to speak to Regina as she had been avoiding her for too long. She noticed Regina's increasing absence over the past year, Henry and herself spoke about this many times. It was getting to much for Henry that he was worried she was reverting to her old closed up self and Emma needed to set the record straight once and for all. She was deeply hurt by the words that Regina spoke to her only moments ago, it shocked her how much it hurt, she wasn't expecting to feel so much emotion over it. But all she wanted to do was to make Regina feel good. Anyone else would have been scared to approach Regina after such an outburst but Emma felt this overwhelming need to comfort her, protect her even.

She ignored the feeling she felt when she placed her hand on her thigh, but she couldn't ignore the way her heart was thumping in her chest as she held her, she couldn't ignore the butterflies that now took flight in her stomach as she felt Regina's breath on her neck, this felt wrong to feel this but, being this close to Regina was intoxicating, it also felt somewhat, familiar

She pulled back just a bit when she felt Regina's breath starting to even out, Regina was still looking to the floor, but she placed her hands under her chin and lifted her face up so that they could look at each other. Something in Emma struck her like lightening, she had been in this position before, she remembered this same vision on her wedding day, she has never forgot it.

They stared at each other intensely for what seems like forever, neither one daring to speak, it wasn't until their lips brushed together that they both realized they leaned in together, both gasped, both equally shocked, but both could not pull away. Everything seems to fit into place for Emma, the world around her vanished and all that was left was herself and Regina who she has admired for so long. She felt Regina's arms come and wrap around her waist and pull her closer.

The kiss intensified and she felt herself walk forward until Regina's back hit the wall, their lips never parting as her hands held Regina's waist and Regina's hands trialing upwards towards her neck, grabbing Emma's hair she pulled her in as if trying to get as close as possible. Emma moaned as she felt her nails on her scalp, she pushed her body into Regina's, and then it was Regina's turn to moan as she felt Emma's strong thigh push between her legs.

Regina pushed her back trying to regain control, she pushed until the back of Emma's legs hit the couch making them both fall back, she held Emma's face as she kissed her with so much passion it left them both breathless "Regina" Emma moaned as Regina began to slowly grind on top of her, her hands coming up and grabbing her waist once more, helping her move on top of her. Regina bite into Emma's neck not caring to leave a mark. All common sense was out the window at this point, passion took over in a way that she had never experienced before, the feeling in her gut was enough to make her growl into Emma's neck, in turn Emma's hand was holding the back of her hair so tightly, in any other situation she would have been furious. But the pain was welcomed, and it only intensified the passion even more.

Regina quickly sat back on her legs, out of breath looking down at the woman she was madly in love with. No one else mattered at this moment. For once she was going to be selfish and get what she wanted, even if it was only this once and didn't care of the cost.

She dragged her nails up her thighs to the belt buckle all the while staring into Emma's green eyes that were darkened with lust, once she started to loosen the belt Emma sat up and brought their lips together again, they worked in a frenzy, practically ripping each other's clothes off, Regina's top was gone, Emma's jeans and underwear were thrown across the room.

Kilian's face popped into Emma's mind, making her heart stop suddenly but as quick as it came it vanished when she felt Regina move and place herself between her legs, she was about to say something when all words left her mouth as she felt Regina's tongue on her center, she threw her head back practically screaming Regina's name through her moans.

"fuck Regina" this only encouraged Regina more, she was relentless, tasting Emma again was like coming home, she couldn't get enough of her, so when Emma had orgasmed for the first time she didn't stop. She crawled up her body kissing her stomach, biting and sucking her nipples only to go inside of Emma as she started to kiss her lips again. Making Emma tighten around her fingers.

The feeling was euphoric, Emma had never felt this way ever. She never wanted to be without Regina, tears were streaming down her face as she orgasmed a second time as the realization hit her that she was completely, madly and truly in love with this woman. She spun Regina onto her back as she slowly brought their centers together, they both moaned as their essence combined, frantically they were grinding, pulling and pushing against each as they both finally climaxed together. As they were coming down slowly Emma brought their lips together and they kissed slowly, but both pouring their love into the kiss.

With all the emotion building up inside of Emma, she had tears in her eyes, before thinking she suddenly spoke "I love you Regina" without giving Regina the chance she kissed her again, this time something stirred inside of both Emma and Regina, something unstoppable started to erupt between them.

Regina quickly caught on to what was happening, she tried to push her away, but it was too late, the bright light that blew through them was inevitable. She looked into Emma's eyes and she saw the realization cross her face. She remembered, she remembered everything. And all Regina could do was lay underneath her and wait for the storm to crash into her life.

But no storm came, Emma for all she remembered was shocked, she lay there staring at Regina for a while, she knew Regina wouldn't speak until she did. She had never seen Regina look so scared.

Suddenly there was a knock on the office door, Killian's voice boomed from the other side

"Swan, are you there?"

"shit" Emma jumped up, quickly and frantically putting her clothes back on, in any other situation Regina would have laughed at the ungraceful way she was getting dressed, but now wasn't a time for laughter. This was the part Regina was dreading, she knew she would regret it all.

"Emma, Regina, are you in there?" Killian shouted again

They both looked at each other as he started to bang on the door trying to open it, Regina was frozen, what had she done. She has ruined everything. But surprisingly, Emma walked over to her placing her hand over hers, she looked into Emma's eyes confused as Emma smiled at her, she then noticed the white smoke surround them just as Killian managed to get the door open.

When the smoke cleared, she noticed she was laying down on her bed in her bedroom at the mansion with Emma sat next to her with her hand still in hers.

"Emma" she didn't know what to do, or say, she just lay there waiting, waiting for what, she didn't know.

"I'm sorry Regina"

"what, why... why are you sorry, it should be me saying sorry"

"for not seeing you"

Regina sat up, placing her hands on her face, "you have nothing to say sorry for, I am the one that is sorry, I should never have taken your memories, I thought it was the best thing to do"

"it was" she shook her head "what I mean is, if you didn't, I would have woken up in a panic, possibly never spoken again and lost everything we have built together, I wasn't in a good place back then Regina, I did everything to please everyone when I should have been looking to what I wanted, deep down I always knew I liked you more than I should have but truthfully, I possibly still would have married Killian, as I thought it would make everyone happy, especially my parents. So, I am sorry, I would have gone with the easy route"

"oh Emma" she pulled her towards her and kissed her lips "I was so stupid, this past year has been hell, I thought I was doing the right thing but in all fairness I've just hurt myself along the way, it crushed me to see you with Killian, that's why I have kept my distance. I didn't mean what I said in my office I'm so sorry" Regina was in tears, Emma pulled her in her arms and held her close.

"I know you didn't mean it, remember, I know when your lying"

"this is true" they both smiled towards one another, both not truly believing this is real.

"I was planning on leaving Killian, we haven't been right for a long while, we both know it. And although I have technically cheated on him, we have been staying in separate rooms for about a month now. He is too controlling, I don't know if you have noticed but I hardly go out with the girls anyone"

"I haven't since that night" Regina pulled away slightly "I'm sorry I took your memories"

"don't be, we have each other now and that's all that matters"

"I never want to be without you Emma, I am so in love you with. I remember telling you that night I was, but when I woke up, I was so scared you would reject me that I just panicked and did what I had to do.

"I remember it all now and let me tell you Madam Major" she pushed Regina back down as she crawled over her "apart from what we just did in your office, that night was a night I don't want to forget twice, so tell me. Can we please reenact that night and have many, many... many more like that in our future?"

Regina was suddenly breathless and overcome with so much love for her savior that all she could do was nod and pull her back down into a searing kiss while thinking of the words 'our future'

They spent that entire day and many more after that worshipping each other, they promised each other on their wedding day to not take any day for granted and to always love and cherish each for all time, they also promised not to take one another memories again as they welcomed the good and the bad as they knew they can conquer anything, after all they were always stronger together.

The End.


End file.
